School is finished

Yes, I turned in my last paper last week.  If you've never written a five-to-seven page self-exploration using racial identity models by Cross and Helms, well, you just haven't lived. Sarcasm?  Why, yes. Yes, it is.  

Now that I've gotten to the end of the semester I can take a longer view, step back and see if this counseling gig is what I want.  And I'm not so sure.  What I thought I wanted out of counseling was the opportunity to help people find their way.  I believe that God created us all for something uniquely special to each of us, and to be able to help another person find that something special--I look at this as such a privilege.  But it might not be one I'm cut out for.

The counseling relationship is inherently limiting--so private that a counselor can't ethically say "hi" when bumping into a client at the grocery store.  And it can also be kind of artificial in other ways...no invitations to dear clients' weddings, no shared cups of coffee and conversation, always a power differential, no matter how you try to overcome it.  I think I knew this going in but now I find myself chafing at the idea of inhabiting that world all the time.

And I do have another idea...call it a mid-life crisis or utter confusion, whatever.  I might open a store, the kind of place customers can come and hang out and learn things and form friendships.  A spot that would appeal to people of lots of different ages--I love the idea of inter-generational activities and friendships.  And the kind of place I can be creative with windows and displays and ordering...there is a certain appeal.  So I'm looking into that.  I might post some more about this later.  DH is on board, bless his heart.  So we'll see.  That's what I'm going to use this school break for.  Oh, and blogging.