Oh my goodness, I've been quiet!

Too silent here.  This time, it's because things were brewing that I couldn't talk about, and those things consumed all of my mind.  Whenever I sat down to write, I could only think about the "verboten" topic.  I even quit cooking with French Fridays with Dorie.  (Wow!  My family is missing that one.)

But here's the news:  I sold my shop.  My precious sweet little yarn shop.  I am so proud of it.  And I am so relieved that I'm no longer the owner.  Two and a half years ago I had an idea, really just a kernel of an idea.  I was in graduate school in a competitive program, and was realizing that it wasn't for me.  As a knitter of about eighteen months, I thought I'd like to spend my days surrounded by beautiful color and fun customers.  So, after getting my FIRST EVER 4.0, I quit to open my shop.  Talk about turning on a dime.  My husband is a wonderful, patient man.

Fast forward two years.  (Really, super fast fast fast forward.)  My children are two years older, and we have found that we looooooove to travel.  They are also so busy, with track and lacrosse teams, theatre musicals, horses, horses, horses, and homework.  They weren't like this two years ago!  And my sweet little shop?  Busy as a beehive, thankfully!  I had wonderful employees (including my mom!), but also hundreds of customers who truly felt invested in my little shop.  If you've never been in a yarn shop, you should venture in sometime.  It really can be a little community.  I've been blessed to celebrate so many births and anticipated children and grandchildren, as well as friends who received the fruits of my customers' labors.  I've also shared the lows, the illnesses and deaths, and have cried with my friends.  What a blessing to be allowed to share all that life has to offer. 

If you have ever received a handmade gift, I am here to tell you that the maker thought and considered, prayed and labored, over your gift.  I saw it.

But one thing that I didn't count on was that, as the shop grew more successful, it would require even more of my attention, not less.  I had the crazy idea that it would start to run itself.  WRONG.  And as my fifth "baby" demanded more attention, my home was faltering.  Not just the messes.  The going on field trips, the planning parties, the inviting friends home, just on the spur of the moment.  Every single thing was planned to the minute, with no room for a sick day or even a "sick and tired" day.  Couple that with the realization that my sweet oldest boy had turned twelve, two-thirds of the way to college, and something had to give.  Of course that was my shop.

I believed when I opened the shop that I was following a path that the Lord had laid out for me.  So when, after much prayer and deliberation, I decided I had to exit the shop, I expected that I would see some sort of path.  It happened so much faster than I expected!  The first day I told my employees, one of them called and offered to buy the shop.  Just like that.  I almost dropped the phone when she called me. Since then, we've had some little roadblocks, with timing and such, but overall we have had such a good time sharing this experience.  The attorney handling the sale just shook his head as he watched us agree to a price.  It was that easy.  She is thrilled, and so am I. 

So, the blog has been quiet.  But now it isn't.  I think I'll try to be more open, and I have some ideas moving forward.  I wonder what it will be like to be "just" a mom again, for the first time in two-and-a-half years.  I'm a little nervous.  But I also look forward to the adventures the kids and I will have this summer, and beyond.  And I think I'm looking forward to cleaning the laundry room.  I know everyone else is looking forward to that.  And a horse in my future?  Mmmm, maybe?

The Grand Unified Theory of Parenting

This is it.  This is what you've been looking for:  the definitive secret to a happy household full of happy kids.  I am sharing it after we had it confirmed last weekend.  So far, so good.

The theory:  children want to love their mama, and siblings will fight for the pieces of mom-love just as surely as puppies fight over table scraps.  My home is happier if my children see themselves as being on the same team.  For that to happen, they must see me as being on a different team.  (Ouch!  This is painful.)  Therefore, when given the choice to pit the kids against each other or united against me, I choose to unite them.

An example:  The kids are bickering over something, and one comes tattling to me.  BAM!  You all are fighting--everyone is in trouble.  Not spankings, just a "go to your room, no TV tonight" kind of punished. Ideally, sending them to their room sends them to the SAME room.  My boys share a room, and my girls.  More than once I've overheard, "Mom sure is mean." "Yeah.  I can't believe blah blah blah..."  There might be some "Why did you..." but surprisingly little!  They have found common ground, their anger with me.  So now they are on the same side.  And after a little while, they are hanging out, playing, reading, but spending time together.  And after the time away is over, they really aren't even mad at me for long.  Remember, their natural tendency is to love their mama.

This is how we've raised our kids.  I'm not sure when I came up with this, but with four kids under six I had to figure something out pretty quick.  I have to say that we have four of the most fun kids you would ever want to see.  They get along great, which makes everything from dinners out to chores to travel a breeze.  Yes, they fight and argue once in a while, but they also genuinely love each other and are best friends.

This even works to their advantage, more than they know!

Here's what happened last weekend.  DS1 had a bad weekend, losing some things but then also lying about them!  Terrible.  We were disappointed and lowered as many booms as we could grab, including NO TRICK-OR-TREATING.  Wow--he was devastated, but took the punishment without complaint.  A couple of days later we heard crying coming from upstairs.  It wasn't DS1, though; it was his younger brother absolutely distraught that his best bud wouldn't be going out on the biggest night of the year.  The girls were also indignant at us that we would levy such a punishment.  Those three kids surrounded their brother with love and lobbied us HARD on his behalf.  To DS1's great credit, he didn't argue with us, but the other kids sure did!  They even "threatened" to stay home in solidarity with their brother.

Well, we changed our minds.  I was secretly so proud of my sweet kids, sticking together like they did.  His punishment is ongoing, but we relented and he brought home his requisite six pounds of candy.  And I feel just a little vindicated in my approach.  It isn't always fun to be the heavy but it was certainly worth seeing them stick together like that, knowing that they love each other not only in the fun easy times but through trouble, too.  I am really proud of those sweet guys.